Star Wars Captioning #52
We're assuming the one she just married is the one the blaster
is pointed at.
Second Stormtrooper from the right: "Sigh... Always a bride's maid,
never a bride."
by Conor Edmiston
"This is the last time he gets cold feet! Shoot him if he runs
by Darth Sillious
Here comes the bride, blaster at her side!
by Princess Lobeli
FOX's new special: "Who Wants To Marry A Stormtrooper?"
"Ready men? I'll show him he can't leave me standing at the
altar. Forward march!"
Lisa's ceremony brought a new level of meaning to the term "shotgun
by Grandma Tarkin
"We're also available for birthday parties and Bar Mitzvas!"
"Aren't you a little short for a groom?"
Desperate for new recruits, the stormtroopers were giving a gun
to any Imperial citizen dressed entirely in white.
by Matthew Domville
So Mara Jade brought a few former friends to her wedding...
"I'm out looking for a husband. Wait... there's one, set for
by Dave Frey
"This isn't the bride your looking for."
by Kenya Starflight
Her loyal bodygaurds for the wedding. but the one to her left was
teasing her so she decided to put a hole in his chest plate.
by Ricky Teel
...and then TFN's server crashed as thousands of "shotgun wedding"
jokes were submitted...
Han Solo felt it was in his best interests to accept Leia's proposal
BRIDE: "Uhm, which one of you is the groom?" STORMTROOPER: "It
doesn't matter. We're all clones anyway."
by Darth Nader
"TK-421, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
by Dubya Fett
The winners of "Who Wants to Marry a Legionaire!" contest.
Considering the circumstances of their engagement, Han's pick of
groomsmen might have been understandable, but Leia's laser blaster
boquet gave a small girl a concussion during the bouquet toss.
by smiley organa
Brain Buster Question #14: Is this a *Tatooine* wedding or a *Texas*
"All right now, walk down the aisle. Slowly. And if you drop
the rings one more time, you're going to have more holes in you
than a piece of Nubian cheese."
by Sweet Uncle Biggs
Trooper Bob's new wife was not pleased with the reception buffet
"You know what's going on?" "I don't know, some sorta drill."
by Art Miles
COMING SOON!! Father of the Bride Part 3: Attack of the Bridesmaids
"Hey . . . the ushers wanna know where to pin their flowers."
by The Nearsighted Stormtrooper
Jane's bridesmaids' outfits had to be *special* ...
by Ann Thrax
"HONEY, I SWEAR IT WAS JUST AN INNOCENT BACHELOR PARTY! DON'T
by Emperor Alkaline
Welcome to Las Vegas, home of Wayne Newton and Star Wars Wedding
by Coruscant Jedi
Lucas is questioning two things: One, who is the groom? Two, why
is she holding a blaster the best mans head?
Sadly, their marriage was doomed. He was stationed on the Death
"Notice the paniced look on the grooms face as the blushing bride
holds a gun to his chest."
by Steve Stoick
The audience sat motionless as the vicar asked if anyone knew of
any reason why these two may not be joined in holy matrimony.
This isn't the bride we're looking for.
by Emperor Palpatim
"Honey, the coast is clear ... you can come down the aisle
by Darth Penelope
Lucas attempts another prequel: The Runaway Groom.
What a traditional wedding, even the groomsmen dressed in white
"So...uhh...which one of you did I marry?"
by Jedi Master Bob
I guess Han now wishes he hadn't made that comment about the "shotgun"
After the fall of the Empire, many former stormtroopers found jobs
as ushers in local churches.
by MSMS Iuka
The irony is, she's probably the most likely to hit something other
than a wall, a small alien, or another Imperial
by Matt Stevenson
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