You come to me asking for a favor, but you show no respect. You don't even bother to call me Godfather."
by Johnboy

"And so I says, '200 credits for an oil change! What are you nuts?' and electrocuted them on the spot."
by Johnboy

Emperor: Luke, join the Dark Side or die! Luke: No. Emperor: Oh come on. Luke: No. Emperor: I'll be your buddy. Luke: No. Emperor: I'll let you borrow my shuttlecraft. Luke: No.
by Brian Barnes

Emperor: Yeah...and then I said, Darth, baby, why don't you just choke the admiral? hahahah...get it?
by Maulrat

And here we have a spacious bay window to give you a simply wonderous view of any battle.
by Kaylar

"...and every time you start thinking of joining me, I'll laugh... it'll remind you that you hate my guts and would never join me for the world... Do we have a deal?" Luke: "Sure"
by Phoenix1138

my name is Aniga Montoya...you have killed my father...prepare to die
by Van Smack

PALPATINE: When 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years old years YOU reach look so good YOU not HMM?
by IG-88

Of course my child! That's the fashion- BLACK!!!!
by Admiral Piett

Come here boy...I have a SHOCKING surprise for you! HEH HEH HEH VERY SHOCKING!
by Admiral IG-88

What!? NO MORE ROOM? HECK WITH THE SUPERLASER I WANT TO WATCH THE PHANTOM MENNACE NOW!!!!!!
by Admiral IG-88

"Look buddy, this electricity isn't for free!!!"
by john sebastion

"...and then, silently I stole every Christma present, every ornament, and every stocking. There will be NO Christmas in Whoville...GOOOOD, I can feel your anger! The hate is swelling in you now!"
by Darth Gator

...well then Skywalker if you won't join us in the prquels you will be destroyed in this summer's action figure sales
by Exar Kun

No this one doesn't have the tan vest either.... guards dispose of him bring the next jedi Skywalker
by Exar Kun

Palpy: "Do you hear what they are saying, Luke?? Look at this face, do I look like Darth Sidious?"
by keiran_h

Got milk?
by Raziel 007

Luke:...so then she kissed me, and i find out that she's my sister, Doc, what am i gonna do? Emperor: for the last time, i don't care about your insignificant family problems,
by mgilbert

And as you can see, Luke, I did all my own decorating. (Although, this post-modern angular widow design was Darth's idea.) We are thinking of making it a breakfast nook.
by Magni Nominis Umbra

"Try and snatch the lightsaber from my hand, Grasshopper."
by Rich

"Don't give me that look, young man. You're not getting your saber back until your ten minute Time Out is over, and that's final."
by Super Oogie

"You see Mark, since you can't even get a role in a made for TV movie, your only option left is the Dark Side!"
by Dash Martino

Palpatine: I love my La-Z-Boy
by Crowmeus

"Hey, Palpatine- do you ever spin around real real fast in that thing?"
by JediBlanket

"Someday this will all be yours." "What, the curtains?"
by madman

You know Emperor. You really should brush your teeth more often.
by TimC

I did not appreciate you little April Fools prank, young Skywalker...
by Miss Smiley

And as you can see, Luke, I did all my own decorating. (Although, this post-modern angular widow design was Darth's idea.) We are thinking of making it a breakfast nook.
by Magni Nominis Umbra

Luke: "Okay, one more time: You set a what for the Alliance?" Palpatine: "Sigh...You are such and idiot! Vader, are you sure this is your kid!?"
by Kell Kelley

Emporer: See what I mean? You'd think for 10 credits an hour they'd do a better job of cleaning the windows on this Deathe Star, but noooo...
by Liz the Bored

OK, so you need milk, butter, and the Weekly World news from the market?
by Mike Shondeck

"So, you see, Luke, the dark side is really the light side, from a certain point of view."
by Ael

I bet you can't hit that second cruiser from the left, your Highness?
by RyuCT

"Back in my day, we didn't have starships. We had to walk to solar system to solar system. In 6 feet of snow!
by David Garcia

"Help me welcome a very special guest all the way from Tatooine. A very talented whiner and..um..whiner! Luke Skywalker, ladies and gentlebeings!" Late Night with the Emperor's final broadcast
by dex1138

"You know, being Emporer aint all it's cracked up to be. You have to be fearsome, mean, and even with all the technology in the galaxy you can't get decent face surgery."
by Firelion

Luke: "You've got something on your face." Palpatine: "There, did I get it?" Luke: "Yeah, it's gone." Palpatine: "Where was I? Oh yes, from here you will witness..."
by nelson

I'd get up to shake your hand, but my foot's asleep
by Eric J

No, really, I didn't mean to blow up that cruiser. I swear, my finger slipped. Oops, there it goes again!
by Rob Purple

I really wish I had a cool spacey chair like you do! - Yes I know, but you can't becuase you're a sad whining farm boy who doesn't have any power converters. The power converters are the key.
by Josh

Dark side this, dark side that, whatever...look buddy you got twenty bucks for this pizza or what?
by darrenogle@msn.com

Luke: Why are you wearing a hood? Were you burned by a lightsabre or something? Emperor: Oh no, it's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
by The Sith Bride

So, at last I meet the ringleader behind this circus.
by DarkLasmith

"When I was your age we didn't have those fancy-dancy lightsabers, all we had was a stick soaked in rocket fuel and a match and if we weren't careful..."Poof!"...you'd go up in flames..."
by The Iguana that Ate Yoda!

Luke:"Ok,so what's up with ripping off that look from Darth Sidius!"Emperor:"What do you mean?!I was the first to make this look popular!"
by J.Kondoff

You see, the guy before me was the first Emperor, but his real name was Fitzgerald. You see, no one would bow down to the great Emperor Fitzgerald, so he...Um.. Why are you looking at that lightsaber?
by Strider

See, no sweat. I can't even do the thing that Vader does. I'm just a helpless old man. Now why don't you strike me down and join the friggin' Dark Side?!?!?
by Strider

As you can see, young Jedi, your acting career has failed. Now witness the full power of a veteran actor. "Edit at will, producer!"
by Bantha Boy

don't get up, I know the way out.
by Tycho

"Explain to me again the part about him being your father."
by ChrisPC

"Okay, Luke, I give up. How about a truce. Let's shake on it!" "Okay!" Unwittingly, Luke walks into the most lethal joy-buzzer gag ever pulled.
by Empress Palpatine

"You've succeeded your Highness..." "No Mark! For the last time, SAY THE LINE AS WRITTEN!!" "But I want to be bad. People will like me then." "NO! NO! NO! How many times do I have to tell you? NO!"
by Nadja Cheiron

No,no,no! I wanted a view of the Ocean!!
by Mar-Qui Tokk

Luke, I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's roommate's friend
by Avon and Glock

So you want to be in the "Phantom Menace" do you, young jedi. I know I will.
by KimbaLinn

Anyway, your friends are doomed, the Rebellion is doomed,and my electric bill gets huge when I start shooting lightning out of my hands,so why not make this easy on yourself and just say yes??
by Murdock

(Luke)...I'll never turn to the Dark Side..Never! (Palpatine) I know, but if I don't act overconfident and sure of myself who's gonna cheer when I'm thrown into the nuclear reactor pit?
by Murdock

"... and I thought that Admaral Ackbar Looked Freaky
by X-treme

You...want this, don't you? WELL GET YOUR OWN! TOYS 'R' US! 19.95!
by darthboba

Luke: Don't you think a staring conest is a little juvinille for Jedi? Emperor: Shut up and keep staring!
by Sailor Moon

The first April Fools Day gag, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away: "I give up. Let's call a truce. We'll :::snicker::: shake on it!" "Okay Palpatine! I knew there was some good in you too!"
by Magdelena

Aw jee, mister Palpatine, wer'e awful sorry we blowed up yer Death Star.
by Chewie Baca