Hotel of the Emperor (To: The Eagles' "Hotel California")

Parody Lyrics copyright 1998 by Steven Cavanagh.

(As sung by Luke)

Episode: VI

--

Went to Darth Vader my way

handcuffs on my hands

walker came to meet us

rising up in the air

up ahead in the distance

a shuttle platform, at night

the air grew colder and my face grew grim

it was my father, all right

 

There he stood in the doorway

Commander had done well

and I was thinking to myself

I'd never noticed- his helmet's a bell.

Then he lit up my saber

and he showed me the way

there were voices down the corridor

I thought I heard them say

 

Welcome to the hotel of the Emp'ror

Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)

hanging there in space.

Big as a moon is the hotel of the Emp'ror

What a giant sphere (What a giant sphere)

And the guy is here!

 

His body evil and twisted

He wants me for his own ends

His confidence is his weaknesses

Mine's my friends.

Now we stand in the throne room

see the fleet, and I fret.

Some stand to remember

Some stand to forget.

 

So I call up my saber

activates with a whine, and he said

Good, now use that aggression and fear

Like you're father, you're mine

And still those voices are calling from far away

Must be those two red guys out of sight

I thought I heard them say

 

Welcome to the hotel of the Emperor

Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)

hanging here in space.

We're living it up at the hotel of the Emp'ror

What a nice surprise (What a nice surprise)

For those rebel guys!

 

Shadows and low ceiling

A brilliant place to hide, (and Dad said)

So, you have a sister here

She'll love the Dark Side.

In the master's chambers

I drove him to defeat

His master couldn't change my side;

I got sizzled like some meat!

 

Last thing I remember, he was

lifted off the floor

and thrown into the passage black

to the main reactor core.

Relax, said Anakin, I was

programmed but I'm free

You can check out any time you like

Go my son, leave me!

<solo to fade>