TheForce.Net - Humor - Top 10 Force Powers We'll Never See

Top Ten Force Powers We'll Never See
by the readers of TheForce.Net

10. The Jedi Neck Pinch. It was cool, but those bastards at Paramount threatened legal action.
by Jar Jar Bites

9. The power to find out just how many licks it takes to get to the Toostise Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.
by Nemesis

8. "I sense your keys are on the table, under the magazines"
by Walter Danek

7. The power to give people ice cream headaches at will. those things hurt like a b****.
by Mango Fett

6. The ability for Stormtroopers to shoot straight.
by TeK

5. One word: Wedgie.
by Keith

4. The power of Grayskull!
by Keith (anyone remember that show?)

3. The ability to use the force to sence THE MOST EVIL BEING TO EVER EXIST even when he's STANDING NO MORE THEN 10 FEET AWAY FROM HALF THE ENTIRE JEDI COUNSEL!!!
by HaHaRich

2. Common among Dell Jedi, the force mind trick to persuade our bosses that we are actually working.
by Jedimaster Lou
(I knew you guys were slacking.... -Editor/Gateway Employee)

1. Force Plot
by Andakin

10. "Messier passes the puck to Dvorak... back to Messier... he shoots... And the puck has stopped in Mid-Air... Great save by Vader."
by Stryder, The New York Ranger

9. Behold the power of cheese!
by utinni!

8. Whoa! I know Kung Fu!
by Padme

7. Force I-Don't-Need-No-Friggin'-Toilet
by PeeJay

6. Force overclock pentium
by Darth Limbaugh

5. The rare ability to make flannel fashioniable
by asimov

4. the unusual "getting another movie role after being a jedi" power
by asimov

3. the ability to make somebody else reach out and squeeze their fingers together simply by choking to death in front of them.
by asimov

2. Jedi Card Trick
by Kobina Yankah

1. The Force ability to do taxes correctly and on time.
by The Jedi Master of BBQ's Daughter