Artude (To: The Offspring's "Pretty fly for a white guy")

Parody lyrics copyright 2002 by Steven Cavanagh

Date: June 2002

Notes: A look at everyone's favourite disgruntled astromech. I actually penned this a long time ago when 'pretty fly' came out (and every man and his dog was writing 'Jedi' parodies of it). Because of the nature of the parody I wanted to wait until I recorded it (let's face it, reading 'booBEEP' just doesn't give you the punch of a sound effect), but I eventually realised I'd never get around to it and it could be out there entertaining people.

You're a feisty little one <booBEEP> <booBEEP>
You're a feisty little one <booBEEP> <booBEEP>
You're a feisty little one <booBEEP> <booBEEP>
and all his friends say he's quite annoyed, for a small droid.

(Tee doonta mishka artoo de to a)
Y'know it's kind of hard just to be an astro droid
He's under lots of stress, and he's never heard of Freud
He may be short with people, he may seem quite rude
but if you listen up, I'll explain his attitude!

Hey he's comin' through, y'know his name's Artoo
and he's motivated cause his MOTIVATOR'S NEW!
He's been saving lives, fixing hyperdrives
the R2 way, the R2 way
He's "the man", y'know, in a two-droid show
and he has to put up with that PRISSY THREEPIO
so grab your welder, please and
hey (hey) do that Artoo thing!

You're a feisty little one <booBEEP> <booBEEP>
You're a feisty little one <booBEEP> <booBEEP>
You're a feisty little one <booBEEP> <booBEEP>
but all his friends say he's quite annoyed, for a small droid.

He's hanging with Skywalker, who's really quite a dud,
Got lost out in the snow, now he's crashed them in the mud
Been spat and shot and kidnapped, mechanically abused
It isn't any wonder why this droid is feeling used!

What they do to him, it would make your head spin
and he's a great chess player, but he LETS THE WOOKIEE WIN
but he's just the thing, to ride in your X-Wing
He saves the day, he'll save the day
He took down a Hutt, so keep your fat mouth shut
because he takes no lip and he zaps EWOKS IN THE BUTT
If your legs come in threes, then
hey (hey) do that Artoo thing!

He got this disposition, by taking lots of crap
And hanging out of X-Wings when they fall into a trap
Friends say he's treated like dirt on a hyperspace trip
and when it don't work then he, has, to fix the ship!

You're a feisty little one <booBEEP> <booBEEP>
You're a feisty little one <booBEEP> <booBEEP>
You're a feisty little one <booBEEP> <booBEEP>
(ne jabba no vada dia wanna wanna wanga)

We know he's the man, he don't give a damn
Because he's one cool droid and he PROJECTS A HOLOGRAM
Lotta tools inside, he's bona fide
the R2 way, the R2 way
He's been made of tin, looks like a garbage bin
With a little space that you can HIDE A SABER IN
so grab your welder, please
you Artoo wannabees
Put skates onto your knees and
hey (hey) do that Artoo thing!