Be our guest    (To: Be our guest from Disney's musical "Beauty and the Beast")
Parody lyrics copyright 1999 by  Steven Cavanagh
(As sung by Grand Moff Tarkin)
Episode: IV
Date: May 1999
Notes: I was watching Tarkin’s great interrogation sequence one day and when it got to the line
"I’d like you to be our guest at a ceremony to make this station operational"- three words leaped out at me. Apologies the sound file only goes halfway.

--

 Tarkin:

Be. Our. Guest-
Be our guest
Now it's time to feel depressed
For we stormed aboard your starship
and put you under arrest.
There's a nice
Room for free
In block AA-23
Just a shorter term solution
While we wait your execution
You ran off
With the plans
But you fell into my hands
Now I'll push you back and onto Vader's chest!
Because I'm on your case-
where is the Rebel base?
You'll be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
 
Star of Death!
Huge in size!
(though it has just seven TIEs)
When we fire up the gun, a
planetary system dies!
Looks just like
A small moon
You'll see it in action soon
Join us for a celebration
To officiate the station
Lots of guns,
Tractor beams-
The fulfillment of my dreams-
You can tell it has me suitably impressed!
This thing's my master plan
let's blow up Alderaan
So be our guest!
(As you've guessed,
 You're too trusting, I suggest)
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
 

Vader:

You're our guest!
You're our guest!
Don't be difficult, princess!
Now you're caught, I would have thought
cooperation was the best.
You resisted
the droid
Now it's maker's unemployed
For such courage under torture
You could almost be my daughter!
All our problems
are solved
Now the Senate's been dissolved
But we must eradicate the Rebel pests!
So give us information
For interrogation
You're our guest!
You're our guest!
You're our guest!
 
 

Tarkin

Be our guest!
Be our guest!
At the Emperor's request
We have built a giant weapon
And believe me, it's the best!
It has one
Thermal port
And we like our troopers short
We've a hundred thousand crewman
And yet, not one single woman
It's all been
So much fun
We might build another one!
But enough of that, you've got to get some rest!
So go now with the general
to your cell and then you'll
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Please, be our guest!