SF Chronicle rants about Attack of the Clones in a new editorial today:

The most exciting moment in "Star Wars: Episode II" came a half hour before the end. We heard an odd little siren, too tinny for a Lucas soundtrack,

and a recorded announcement, too grown up to be Lucas dialogue.

"An emergency has been reported, clear the building, do not take the elevator," said the Metreon's emergency recording Monday afternoon. I filed out of the theater half asleep with boredom, but waking quickly to the possibility of thrills. I'd miss the clone war, but maybe I'd see the building burn down.

Lord, don't let me die for this movie, I prayed. The alarm turned out to be a fake, all smoke and mirrors and no fire, like every movie George Lucas has made since he started babbling about myth, Joseph Campbell and good and evil.

Forget evil, George. Think about bad, as in bad movies, like the last two you made.

What's going on up there at Skywalker Ranch? The wrong man-child ran away from Marin to join the Taliban. At least John Walker Lindh has a story to tell.