From E! Online:

Warning: This story is filled with numerous Attack of the Clones spoilers. Except, here, the "spoilers" aren't plot-twist revelations. They're movie critics. Yes, the early reviews for George Lucas' latest sci-fi saga--Star Wars: Episode II--Attack of the Clones--are in...and they're enough to get even the most stoic Jedi down in the dumps.

A quick sampling:
Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times: "[A] technological exercise that lacks juice and delight. The title is more appropriate than it should be."
A.O. Scott, New York Times: "[A] chance for gifted actors to be handsomely paid for delivering the worst line readings of their careers."
David Ansen, Newsweek: "The enterprise is showing its age. The movie feels long, and...the storytelling feels stiff in the joints."

Is it just us, or do you feel a disturbance in the Force? Ready or not, and whether the critics like it or not, Attack of the Clones, the fifth film, and second prequel, in Lucas' now 25-year-old franchise, opens Thursday. (Tune in Wednesday at 9 p.m for the E! Original Special: Star Wars: The Force Is Back followed at 10 p.m. by Ewan McGregor Revealed.)

The flick has a lot of history--and ticket sales--to live up to. The original Star Wars is second on the list of all-time box-office champs, with $461 million. Star Wars: Episode I--The Phantom Menace, the first installment of the prequel trilogy, zoomed to number four on the all-time list (with $431.1 million) following its 1999 release.

Phantom Menace wasn't exactly embraced by the professional popcorn munchers, either. (Said Newsweek naysayer Ansen on that flick: "Many of the scenes feel shapeless and flat--they're not ended, but abandoned.")

But much of the ire at Phantom Menace was directed at the loping, shuffling and wholly annoying E.T. name of Jar Jar Binks. And while Jar Jar's back for Clones, he's not around long enough to lope and shuffle his way into true, wholly annoying status. This apparently gave critics ample time to find other things that bugged them about the new movie.

Chief on their hit list: The fireplace-crackling love story between Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman) and Anakin Skywalker (newcomer Hayden Christensen). Gripes Ebert: "There is not a romantic word they exchange that has not long since been reduced to clich?."

If it's not Lucas' script, cowritten with Jonathan Hales (TV's The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles), that's getting zapped, then it's Portman and Christensen's performances. Says Kirk Honeycutt in the Hollywood Reporter: "Portman delivers lines in an unconvincing and often abrupt manner. Christensen, too, makes a dull romantic lead."

Again, much of that same criticism--clumsy dialogue, stilted acting, lax pacing--was directed at Phantom Menace. But if reviewers gave the legendary Lucas a pass for making what was, at the time, his first movie as a director in more than 20 years, they now sound plain disheartened--and disillusioned.

"We'll never see another Star Wars, no matter how much we want to," writes Kenneth Turan in today's Los Angeles Times. "And we want to very much."

Hit the link above for the full article.