The Battle Hymn of the Empire (To: "The Battle Hymn of the Republic")
Parody lyrics copyright 1996 by Steven Cavanagh
Episode: IV-VI
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Oh put your hands together for the ruler of the stars
he's the boss, from Coruscant out to the home of Owen Lars
Once he wiped out all the Jedi Knights, and then passed out cigars
and he keeps marching on!
 
CHORUS:
    Glory, glory to the Emp'ror
    Glory, glory to the Emp'ror
    Glory, glory to the Emp'ror
    He just keeps marching on!
 
And now we bow in reverence to his own evil Lord
Vader dresses all in ebony, and loves to be abhorred
and he has a shiny helmet and a groovy laser sword,
and he keeps marching on!
 
CHORUS
 
(stormtroopers)
We're the legions of his troopers, and we always dress in white
and we're taught to fire randomly in every firefight
Now we know to tilt our heads to keep the tops of doors in sight,
and we keep marching on!
 
CHORUS
 
(scout troopers)
Well we also dress in white, but we're the Endor bunker scouts
not those little boys that dib and dob, those wimpy layabouts.
We can fly at high-speed, scream and have spectacular wipeouts,
but we keep marching on!
 
CHORUS
 
(tie pilots)
We're the pilots of the Empire, and we fly the fearsome TIEs
and we somehow always get our butts kicked clear across the skies
If we blow up for no reason, we don't think it's a surprise
we just keep marching on!
 
CHORUS
 
(death star gunners)
We're the gunners of the Death Star, and we wear a funny hat
and we fiddle with the switches that blow planets into scrap
and the rumour that we're extras is complete and utter crap,
we'll just keep marching on!
 
CHORUS
 
(snowtroopers)
We're the snowy region troopers, and we storm the worlds of ice
and we almost got the Falcon with that tripod-gun device
If you meet us on the weekend, then you'll find we're rather nice
and we keep marching on!
 
CHORUS
 
(at-at pilots)
We're the pilots of the walkers that are fearsome, great and tall
we can fight in rock and snow and jungle- AT-ATs do it all
but we haven't figured out that if you trip them, then they fall
So we keep marching on!
 
CHORUS
 
(royal guard)
We're the royal guard all dressed in red, the stormtrooper elite
we can shoot a mynock's eye out from about six hundred feet
but we can't be all that smart, because we haven't learned to speak,
we just keep marching on!
 
CHORUS
 
(officers)
We're the British-sounding officers, we fly a giant ship,
and we look down at the pit crew and we drive them with a whip
For we know that if we screw up, Vader makes us 'get a grip',
So we keep marching on!
 
CHORUS