Proby's
interview with
Emperor Palpatine!
Proby:
Thank you, Emperor Palpatine, for being with us today to answer
our questions. We know you are a busy man, destroying the universe
and all that, so we'll start right away with the first question
from Jedi Jason:
"Dear
Emperor, I would like to ask you, why do you choose light over
dark? Just calm yourself. I train hard under the power of Jedi
Master Yoda (made from TIGER electronics). I am a Jedi Knight.
I will turn you to the light side of the force if it is the last
thing I (or you) do!"
Emperor Palpatine:
your pathetic attempt to turn me to the light side of the Force
might indeed very well be the last thing you'll do... [the
Emperor has an evil grin on his face] .... but I will never
turn to the Light Side, my young friend. The Dark Side of the
Force is much more powerful, easier to master and allows me to
do cool lighting stuff with my hands. Okay, the only downside
of the Dark Side is that it's pretty bad for your teeth... but
since I destroyed my dentist years ago, that's a minor concern.
Forget about Yoda! Join me instead!
Proby:
Thank you for this answer, Emperor Palpatine. Here's a note sent
in by Joshua:
"Emperor,
I think your the best because you train all the siths. I love
siths, and your guards. I hope in episode 2 or 3 you'll win! Your
Servant, Joshua"
Emperor Palpatine:
that's the spirit, Joshua! I will most certainly win in Episode
2 and 3. The Dark Side of the Force will get stronger and stronger!
Proby:
Dear Emperor, another visitor of this site e-mailed us the following
comment:
"To
the emperor. I don't get why every one doesn't like you. You offered
Luke the Galaxy on a plate and he tried to kill you! That was
very nice of you. I personally wood say tank you. So every body
give the sith a brake they are Relay quite nice."
Emperor Palpatine:
well, Jedi are in general very ungrateful, irritating people.
Sith Lords are much better company, trust me! Jedi always make
life so hard for us, honest Dark Side followers. I like your attitude
and I agree: we Sith are really quite nice!
Proby:
I've got another question for you that was e-mailed to us:
"I
was wondering. I never believed it before but it may be true.
Are
You really Darth Sidious. Because if it's true than he live for
4
generations (Shmi, Anakin, Luke, The Solo kids). He's pretty old."
Emperor Palpatine:
Hmmm... you are asking about some very important Dark Side secrets...
hmmm... let me say this: I am indeed very old. The Dark Side of
the Force feeds me with a lot of energy to live a long, long time.
Proby:
Here's an e-mail that is not very kind to you, Emperor Palpatine.
But I'll read it anyway:
"Dear
emporer, you are stupid!!!!!!!!!!!! this one peace of information
is true: the Jedis will destroy you. I have already sent an E-mail
saying I am glad to be obi's partner and that we will destroy
all siths and dark jedi's. your enemy Christopher"
Emperor Palpatine:
Good! Gooood! Let your hatred for me flow through you. FEEL how
much power your anger gives you. Go on, hate me! That's an excellent
way of getting to know the Dark Side of the Force.
Proby:
here's one last question that was sent to us by Adam:
"Palpatine,
why did you give in to the dark side?"
Emperor Palpatine:
That's an easy one to answer. Once I discovered the Dark Side
of the Force, I realized that it would give me unlimited power
and control over other people. It made me become what I am now:
the Emperor of the Galaxy! If I would have followed the light
side of the Force, like Obi-Wan, I'd be living on a dusty sandplanet
littered with Bantha Poodoo, surrounded by stupid Tusken Raiders.
No thanks! I prefer the Dark Side!
Proby:
Emperor Palpatine, thank you so much for your time! It was great
to have you on the show!
Emperor Palpatine:
I never miss an opportunity to make some publicity for the Dark
Side of the Force. And remember kids: may the Dark Side be with
you.. always!
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